No Time to Die- Billie Ellish (trigger warning: abuse)

Hey y’all ,
I’ve been very anxious and on go this week. I don’t have much to say. But I did have the capacity to say this. Trigger warning for mention of abuse. Take care of yourselves and talk to whoever you need to in that process. Thank y’all for hearing me.

Abusers Hate Being Called Abusers 

Show me the one who violates boundaries with no shame 

And I’ll show you someone who avoids their own reflection.

Using life and promises as a pawn, I’ll let you heal if you don’t call me dysfunctional,

If you don’t call me the force behind my ego 

I’m never just what you see. 

I was never all that I saw. 

Show me the one who I have to forgive for the sake of a family picture

And I’ll show you all of the graves I’ve marked you under

All of the deaths I’ve died to know life is worth living 

When you call the darkness dark and call the light what comes in the morning 

A morning where you have atoned for your sins 

Every morning I held my breath until the sun said it was okay 

Until I hear you grab your keys n leave.

I made sure I was still enough to fake dead, the way you left me last night 

When you finally stopped screaming. 

Only the darkness got to sleep. 

Abusers don’t like being called by what they lack

What they consume out of others; they plant their bottomless pits in the middle of my therapy sessions 

Where I practice saying they were wrong 

They are wrong 

They will always carry the ugly parts they made in me with them like a badge 

Like their names. 

Abusers hate being called. 

Out of me. 

Out of my ashes. 

Out of their name. 

If I attach your name to this destruction 

Will you say 

My broken parts 

Are yours.