Use Somebody-Kings of Leon

Hey y’all!
Happy Love day, even though it’s past already. Now the candy is half off and everyone who didn’t know where they stood with their significant other now knows where they stand. There’s so much anxiety leading up to Valentine’s but after there is a settling that’s good. The couples go back to being in love in private and the rest of us continue thottin n boppin (I’m doing neither), but congrats and more power to those who are! Stay strapped! 🗣🗣 But anyways, I have a mini crush and I don’t know how to take it. I don’t want to have one but I do. It’s weird and I realize I just need to get used to being open again. I don’t like being open for various reasons, and I tend to be really dense if someone likes me back. So it’s hard for me to gauge whether it’s worth it. So here’s a piece about that. I might wanna keep writing like this because I like narrative style poems sometimes.

The Girl Learns to Be Touchable Again

During the winter girl drinks her favorites on the rocks, develops new stories at the bar, thinks of trusting a stranger to not stay a stranger, she thinks he isn’t interested in her. 

Because everything she has to offer is on the “inside”, because she is told to work on herself until she isn’t lonely, until she needs no one, until she doesn’t suggest he take down her number, because she doubts he’s been waiting to ask her.

Girl thinks better than to share these feelings, because if she hears love yourself one more time she’ll toss them the middle finger. Defiantly puckering the air around the thrust to show how exhausted she is, to show how much she loves herself already, she can’t love anything or anyone too much, even if it is herself. Gluttony is good for imagination, eyes that roam broader than you can devour, and not much else. Including gorging yourself on yourself. 

Girl daydreams about flowers on the bed, about her rolls being cupped, sinking into beds as soft as she is and giggling in the thread count. Girl thinks he might see her as a friend as soon as she opens her mouth without anything going in. If she’s mute is it still mystery? Or should she play the friend role to make it easier on herself, make it easier on him. Because if men want something they don’t play it cool, they hunt. They make you uncomfortable with how much they want you. 

Girl tries to be aware of her affect on him. When her skin accidentally touches his, was she the only one who hoped the contact last longer? See?! She’s always the one living a gluttonous life. Too much self love leaves no room for self inhabit, too long touches leaves no room for mystery, wanting to be touched too much leaves only spiritual drought. Emotional dependency. Girl becomes too dependent on the small touches to make one hand to hold.

Even unintentional touches. 

thanks y’all

(Also, my book The Growing place is out now on Amazon. The link is on my published works page!)